


Lay Your Head On Me (Hate to See Your Heart Break)

by nathynoir313



Series: Who We Are ( I Will Find You Again) [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adults, Alternate Universe - Never Met, And they know it, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, CAN'T HANDLE CAT SON!, F/M, Grief, Heartbreak, Inspired by some songs..., Loss, Sorry Not Sorry, They can depend on each other, This one is angsty, Vulnerability, but still, heart break for sure..., it hurts to see them hurting, love these two so much, never met as civillians, not as you imagine though, not so itty-bitty angst this time, still don't know what exactly am I doing, young adults actually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 14:22:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15026573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathynoir313/pseuds/nathynoir313
Summary: They had arranged a distress signal.[...]They couldn’t drop in each other’s house, couldn’t text the other, nor run around the city screaming each other’s names when they were facing difficult times. Between college life, internships, insecurities and hardships, they needed an emergency way to go on each other’s rescue, and to know where to find themselves in those sort of situations.





	Lay Your Head On Me (Hate to See Your Heart Break)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back again! So, this drabble idea came up after writing Wonderstruck, so it's a prequel to that same AU! It can be read independently as well! I really enjoyed writing this one, it had a different approach to it, and it took me some days to get it to a point that made me feel good about it. Hope you like it. :)

They had arranged a distress signal.  
  
After a really long talk during a patrol, reflecting upon life issues in general, they realized how much they needed to know they could count on each other when things got hard, and when they couldn’t handle things on their own, or wait ‘till the next scheduled encounter, as their kwamis allowed them to do, upon the oath they had made.  
  
They couldn’t drop in each other’s house, couldn’t text the other, nor run around the city screaming each other’s names when they were facing difficult times. Between college life, internships, insecurities and hardships, they needed an emergency way to go on each other’s rescue, and to know where to find themselves in those sort of situations.  
  
After pondering and thinking, leaving the playful banter behind as the sun rays faded, giving way to the night sky, they tried to come up with a possible solution. And so they did. It was simple, perhaps it wouldn’t work, but they decided to try and see if it was effective.  
  
The kwamis, when inquired about it separetely by their hosts, agreed that it didn’t represent enough risks to be dangerous, as long as they used some of their magic to hide the ribbons, making them visible only for the two of them. They chose only really crowded and busy parts of the city to test their distress signal, areas they both frequented on a daily bases. They couldn’t risk any sort of suspicion. If they violated their agreement, the consequences were already known to them.  
  
Neither one of the duo would put the other through that. They were already blessed that Tikki and Plagg had allowed ( only because the kwamis themselves were allowed to permit it...part of it, at least.) them to do so much as patrolling together and talking to each other outside of Akuma attack days. They couldn’t risk having that taken away. It was way too much for either of them to lose at this point ( or to live without. But they wouldn’t admit that to the other nor to themselves...yet.).  
  
Marinette was crossing one of the streets that were part of her route to college, internship, home and basically every important place she had to be or errand she had to run nearby, in that specific part of Paris, caught in the simplicity of following routine.  
  
The young woman had stablished to herself that she wouldn’t use her distress signal unless something really, really messed her up. Knowing that Chat’s life wasn’t easy, she always intended to lighten his burden, in all the ways she could from her side of the mask.  
  
She reached a crosswalk path, but before proceeding, her eyes caught the shade of green adorning the lamppost next to her. Focusing with the corner of her eye sight, making a huge effort not to freak out nor draw unnecessary attention, she anxiously tried to discern how many ribbons were tied to it. After all, Chat and herself were the only ones who could actually see the ribbons. She scooted closer to the lamppost, vision sharp, remembering the meaning that each amount of ribbons represented.  
  
One: I really need to talk to you.  
  
Two: Something has gone wrong.  
  
Three: Help. Please.  
  
The first ribbon made her anxious, but she had seen it in few previous occasions. The second ribbon left her shaking slightly, already worrying. The third ribbon made her blood run cold.  
  
Chat had never used all three ribbons in a single distress signal before.  
  
The same way she tried ( she would never tell him though ) to not make him worry as much as possible, Chat did the same thing, still trying to let her as untouched by his life’s problems as he could, handling them in the ways he knew.  
  
He was strong, and seemed to be way too used to dealing with hard things in silence and to not complain about his adversities, and that made Marinette worry every night and day.  
  
She always let him know as often as she could and in each and every opportunity that presented itself, how open she was to help him, to be there for him. And mostly, how much she cared.  
  
His worst distress signals had been one ribbon, and happened only once in a while. Those were mostly because he often felt way too lonely on his civilian life, and couldn’t really express his thoughts, feelings and impressions to anyone from his daily routine, not even his civilian best friend, who happened to be currently living on the other side of the world.  
  
So he shyly confided in her to be the listener he would once in a while crave so much for, hoping he could open up, but still worrying that it would bother her.  
  
Every time she had to prove to him that the only thing that bothered her, was seeing him unhappy, or feeling miserable or suffering to any degree. To that he replied with a sad, small smile, a watery thank you and a tight hug, if the day had been too bad.  
  
This time was different though. She untied the ribbons in a swift, hardly noticeable gesture, processing the locations they had agreed upon.  
  
One: Arc of Triumph  
  
Two: Eiffel Tower  
  
Three: Notre Dame  
  
Running to the opposite way she came from, she found an abandoned alleyway, transforming right away, and proceeding to Notre Dame, heart clenched inside her chest, sweat dripping down her back, concern dominating her thoughts.  
  
“Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay...” she murmured to herself while swinging through the few day shadows. No need to alert the entire city of her presence.  
  
Getting to a secluded part of Notre Dame, she already was looking around, not knowing what she would find, or even if he was there yet. Her anxious pacing was doing nothing to calm her nerves, as it seemed he hadn’t been able to get there before her.  
  
But he was always early.  
  
Growing concern was biting her insides, and she felt in her gut that something was definitely wrong.  
  
She barely had time to turn towards a rush of wind that just blew the hair at the nape of her neck, before a way taller, black cladded figure collided with her body full force, making her nearly lose her footing.  
  
But she was hardly as unbalanced as she was in her early teenage years. She quickly shifted her weight equally to her legs, involving, who she could tell from the cologne and leather she smelled in the gush of wind was Chat Noir, in a tight, firm, steady embrace.  
  
She felt anything but steady, but she wouldn’t let it show. She was Ladybug. And Ladybug had to be ready. Although she felt like nothing of the sort.  
  
Chat had always been taller, and she knew he would still grow a few centimeters on the following years. But the way he was hunched, arms wrapped tightly around her, head resting on her shoulder, by her neck, he seemed so small.  
  
He looked...  
  
‘ _Oh no_.’ Marinette thought to herself.  
  
He looked broken-hearted.  
  
She knew better than to pry, but she feared what ( or who ) had made him look so fragile, so shattered, so...broken.  
  
That Chat was not a sight she was used to seeing. If someone broke down crying, it was usually her. Chat didn’t break down. He shuttered himself in, his semblance heavy with his troubles, until Ladybug soothed the knots, both literal and metaphorical, so he would open up to her.  
  
This was new. And it scared her. She would never be enough of a fool to believe that Chat was unbreakable, neither would she believe in the unreal ideal of perfection people chose to defend when it regarded the Parisian heroes. They were both human, but Chat had always been stronger than her. His reaction to the worst, most worrisome and awful situations... it was never like this.  
  
Trying to calm her own heart down so she could begin her attempt to ease part of his anguish, in some way that he still didn’t have to talk, or make any effort, she sort of guided/dragged him to a specific hidden spot she had felt the need to create when they stablished the meeting points. She was glad she had thought so. It had a couple of thick blankets and soft cushions,hidden in the shadows even during the day ( not like anyone would go up there, but she was still cautious ).  
  
Chat’s breathing was ragged, his sobs not as loud as instants before, body offering nearly no resistance to any movements from her. Descending to the spot she created, Ladybug reached the floor, allowing Chat to shift, now sitting/laying sort of draped all over her side, head still resting on her shoulder, mask and eyes hidden by her hair, and arms around her waist clinging to her body on a weak attempt to acquire steadiness from her proximity.  
  
His occasional whimpers proved that it hadn’t been enough. Her eyes filled with tears from seeing this man, nearly the same age as hers, crumpled up on the floor next to her, the figure of sorrow, sadness and...the broken-hearted look just emanating from him, from his hunched shoulders, to his ragged breath, and the eyes she had been able to behold only once since he arrived, from a quick attempt to see if he was hurt that caught him right in the instant he moved his head away, only to hide it again in the crook of her neck. And her heart clenched at what she saw.  
  
His usual vibrant, bright green eyes were lacking any sort of sparkle. They looked dark, tired, broken, abandoned and lonely. It was from one moment to the other that he seemed to give up on trying to see his surroundings, closing his eyes heavily, in a motion that left Ladybug even more worried. Chat’s eyes were her source of understanding him. His feelings, his playfulness, his love. Not being able to see them...  
  
Careful not to disturb her fragile partner, she carefully wrapped a blanket up to his shoulders, moving her hand up and down to warm him up, and remind him she was there for him. If he was falling, she would do her best to ease the impact ( or would even fall with him if she could ).  
  
Inching closer to her still, he took a deep breath, as if getting ready to say something. She didn’t change her actions, still holding him close, letting him know it was okay to depend on her. She loved him, and she had to make sure he knew he could tell her anything. He had to know she would do her best to understand whatever it was that had left him so disturbed.  
  
“I f-found out, I had a brother”. Marinette’s heart went on an intense rollercoaster while she processed what he said. ‘Oh my goodness’. She couldn’t ask the question that was hanging in the air. And a lingering feeling on the pit of her stomach, slowly trying to build its way up.  
  
What happened to him?  
  
Shuddering once again, fresh tears rolling down his face, colliding to her neck and suit, he tried to steady his breathing to no avail, and in between sniffles, replied with a shaky voice.  
  
“He... he passed away last week. He was- he w-was only four years old...” the sobbing intensified, and she held him closer to her, allowing him to take his time to explain.  
  
“My f-father...he, he had never heard about him, until yesterday when he received a call. I lost a brother I didn’t get the chance to meet and my mom never bothered to tell us.” He seemed angered when he said that, but he couldn’t hold on to it. He was way too shaken and tired to have the strength to stay angry.  
  
“I did not even know his name until yesterday, w-when my father told... told me what had happened.”  
  
His voice was raspy, tired, and so sad, that it took her all her strength not to start crying herself. She was trying to maintain her composure, while still holding him tight, still trying to soothe him, but knowing that it was most certain that it wouldn’t make that much of a difference. She had been on this same place years ago.  
  
Hand rubbing his back the other one playing soothingly with his hair, she didn’t expect what he had to say next.  
  
“I’m... I’m sorry to have called you. I’ve been.” Deep breath. “I’ve been trying to hold myself together, but-“. Another deep, shuddering breath. “But it’s killing me on the inside. I can’t handle this one alone, Ladybug.”  
  
She was shocked that he thought he had to handle it alone. That just broke another piece of her heart, from that idea of his. Still shocked, she was startled when he moved.  
  
Pulling his face away from the crook of her neck, Chat raised his head only enough so that his forehead was touching hers, eyes still lacking their usual life, and so unlike him. Although they were dark green and clouded, they stared intensely back at her. And she held her breath.  
  
“I tried, but every time I close my eyes, even if only for a moment. I see his smiling face, from the picture my father showed me. I keep imagining what it...what it would have been like if I had the chance...” a sob erupted from him. “A chance to be a brother to him.”  
  
The tears were flowing on a constant slow stream on his face. His brow creased, giving him the look of a tense stance.  
  
“And I...” He couldn’t complete, and Chat knew she wouldn’t understand. So he dropped his gaze and distanced himself a little.  
  
Her heart clenched for the thousandth time that day. Not only for this situation, not only for her partner, not only for his reluctant distance all of a sudden.  
  
This time, it clenched painfully for herself. She finally let a crack into the protective wall of composure she was so intensely trying to maintain since he said what happened. A familiar pang inside her chest came back with full force.  
  
_It had taken her so long to be able to live without letting the lingering sadness make her slouch, instead of walk. Without giving in to the feeling of mental and physical heaviness, instead of the lightness she desired to feel for so much time. She could recall what it was like._  
  
“You feel so powerless.” She completed his thought. Out of breath, letting the small whisper fade into the wind.  
  
_But as she had learned with the years of practice and persistence, of breaking down and barely getting back up, she slowly let go of the hurt, the pain, the sorrow, letting herself be filled with all the happy memories she could fathom instead. The pain gradually and slowly subsided, until serenity finally took its place on her heart. Shakily, barely steady, but still there._  
  
_It took her years after her own brother’s death to be able to fully go through this process without breaking down. She loved her brother, and would never forget him._  
  
_But she learned that although the pain never left, she could learn to live with it. To try to bring the bright side of being alive. Of living for him. Of doing her best, even though she would struggle, so she could make her time count._  
  
_It was a tough process. She just wanted to curl up and cry sometimes, but now she could look back, although still sad and sorrowful, but at last, hopeful as well._  
  
It was the difference between how she was right after her brother died to who she was able to become with the seven years after his death, that made her sure that Chat might be able to work his way towards healing. It wasn’t a smooth process, nor a simple one, nor even was it close to a perfect road. But it lead to hope of a brighter future.  
  
Chat resembled so much of her 16 year old self at this moment. If there was one thing she could say, and that she was thinking was ‘I hate to see your heart break.’ She hated to see him suffer about anything, but by a broken heart...it seemed like a piece of her heart that was connected to his was pounding in pain as well. Because his misery was her downfall.   
  
But she kept it all to herself. She needed to focus back on Chat. He was her priority that moment.  
  
The whole reflection that took place in Marinette’s head lasted no more than a few minutes. She quickly adjusted herself, not wanting to seem selfish by thinking about her own past and pain. It was accidental, nearly instinct that connected both situations, bringing her past to present.  
  
Looking back up at him, she nearly jumped in surprise. Chat’s ears twitched, and his reluctant behavior faded away.  
  
“Yes. I feel completely and utterly powerless.” He looked back down, as if he was ashamed to admit that to her.  
  
_The almighty Chat Noir feeling powerless? The media wouldn’t believe it_ , Chat thought to himself. He was not allowed to have flaws. Not when he was already Ladybug’s shadow, not matter how much she tried to change that. _‘And oh, how she did._ ’ The cat thought to himself amidst the pain, feeling a bit relieved for the brief distraction. Hardly noticing the way Ladybug’s expression was shifting. The woman just wouldn’t let him feeling like that. She could see it in his eyes, and it just wasn’t fair at all.  
  
Determined, Ladybug cupped his face with both hands, positioning him into looking straight into her bluebell eyes, which were firm as well as soft, longing and loving. She was so close to him. If he breathed too abruptly he might tumble directly into kissing her.   
  
He knew that wasn’t her intention though. They had agreed on trying their best not to mix things, mostly when it came down to their feelings for one another. It was too painful knowing that they’d never be able to know each other outside their masks, although they wished they could willingly do so in that very instant, and in so many other moments in the past.  
  
But...  
  
“Feeling powerless does not make you any less of a hero, Chat.”   
  
The man blinked once, then twice, trying to find his voice. He didn’t succeed on his first attempts, and he was so emotionally tired to feel so useless and sorrowful , and like he couldn’t do anything. Ladybug would help him, he knew that, although he had no idea how she could help him ease the pain of the loss of a brother he never really got to know.  
  
Before he lost himself to his dark and sad thoughts, he turned to her, allowing an attempt of a smile to show up on his tear strained face.  
  
“Ladybug...would you tell me a story?”  
  
The young woman wasn’t so surprised because she could read the struggle in his eyes, that still insisted to fill with tears. He wanted her help. And right in that instant, helping him consisted on being there for him, trying to take his thoughts away from his own pain, even for a while.  
  
Holding his hands back between her own, she brushed her lips on top of them, like she did many times before, in moments like this. When they were alone, when they needed each other. Discreetly expressing her love and care for him.  
  
“Well... when I was little, me and my twin brother decided it was a good idea to try and make a bridge across our room using fairy lights, stairs, duck tape, a stapler and some cardboard boxes and pieces of paper.”  
  
Chat couldn’t help but let out a tired, but sincere laugh. Knowing Ladybug, she probably had insisted it would work until the very last moment. She was stubborn like that. He had already heard about her brother, although she wouldn’t talk much about him, saying he had chosen to live abroad some years ago, and they communicated only once in a while. She seemed at peace while sharing the story with him, and her serenity made his heart’s pain feel a little numb, the tears scarce, and a warmth spreading inside his chest.  
  
Inching a little closer to her, he laid his head on her, accompanying her steady heartbeat, listening to her narration of the memory. Laugh bubbled from her chest at one point of the story.  
  
“I told Tomas that we had to glue the fairy lights to the stairs, and he just went on about it like it was the best idea I could have ever had.” She let out a happy sigh, mixed with something else he couldn’t identify, and was too tired to point it out.  
  
Listening to Ladybug’s story, his heart felt a little bit at peace, and he found it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. Few moments later, they closed on their own, and his breathing quickly assumed a steady, calm and peaceful stance. Ladybug noticed, laying a kiss on the crown of his hair, holding him close while he slept.  
  
She would always be there for Chat. That was something she knew would never change. Whenever he needed, he could lay his head on her shoulder, could count on her to be there for him, no matter what happened. They didn’t know about the future, but still. They knew that somehow, they would always have each other. No distance or oath could ever change that.

They were binded to each other just like the Sun and the Moon.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The angst road is bumpy and dark, but it can have some rays of sunshine! I really hope you've liked it! I'm on tumblr as @nathynoir313 ! If you can leave a comment or a kudo, I would be thrilled! Thanks for reading! <3


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